The power of surrender

Without being overly dramatic or unrealistic, I think it is fair to say that the province in Canada in which I come from is on fire. Well, 6 days ago there were 477,498.9 ha of Manitoban forest burning. Coupled with the hot weather and the winds that have been blowing on and off, this number has surely increased. The next province over (Saskatchewan) is similar. Thankfully, Canada is big. Real big. And there are many communities that are safe and supporting those who are displaced through evacuation.

Most of the time I watch these fires and feel very sad but somewhat removed over here in Ireland. This time, it is the town that I was born in and the cottage areas in which my cabin is located that are literally in the direct line of fire. My heart is breaking for those whose homes that are at risk is their primary residence and for the local  businesses which build, support and hold the community together.  

My heart is also pained. The people who are fighting the fires are local volunteer firefighters, in which friends and neighbours are a part of. Thankfully, nation wide support has arrived. However, this is an extra added anxiety to contend with- homes, businesses, friends and family, and the beautiful land that we live on are all being threatened.

Similar to times of Covid, there are also visons of strength and love. There have been announcements of ice cream parties in neighbouring cities, sing a longs in parks, hotels providing free breakfasts and entertainment for kids, campgrounds opening their doors to anyone who needs a place to park. Humanity is truly beautiful and miraculous in and of itself.

Still, navigating emotions, stress and the ups and downs of living through a natural disaster- or a disaster of any sort- takes its toll. This weekend, it was certainly taking its toll on not only those who I love and care about, but on me as well. I have found myself glued to social media, where neighbours share regular updates, and back in What’s App groups that had gone silent only to be restarted again. There are pluses and minuses to this constant online surveillance and I have had to work very hard at regulating my mind and my heart in the face of it all.

This got me thinking of a teaching I once heard at a Zen Buddhist meditation sit. The teacher spoke about the need for both personal empowerment and a surrendering to something external- like God, or the Buddha/the Dharma/ the Sangha, or the universe, or to the image of a loved one who has passed on, or simply to nature’s law. This might be interpreted as contrasting approaches but both are necessary for mitigating moments when we find ourselves in a situation in which predictability is a distant memory.

When faced with emotional adversity, we need to have the confidence and insight to be able to identify what we need and to move towards taking care of our needs. This isn’t always easy, however, this is what self-empowerment looks like. Thankfully, mindfulness has helped me this past weekend and I was able to recognise when I was tipping into overwhelm, or when I was starting to have destructive emotions. In noticing them, I was able to attend to them.

For instance, I was able to identify that spending countless hours following live action posts on FB was affecting my mental wellbeing. It is important to know what it is happening. Most definitely. However, watching it on repeat had me in a Flight/Flight/Freeze moment for longer than I care to be. While I knew that I needed to step away from the device, it was hard to. Still, my self-compassionate heart was screaming at me that this is one of those times in which distraction is truly something to lean into. What I needed was to choose activities to engage in that were relaxing and positive. I even took myself off to the cinema as a means of pulling away.

Also, I was able to recognise when I needed to reach out to others. Over the past few years, I have learned that I struggle with being vulnerable. Or rather, I struggle with the attention that can come from tragedy. This weekend, I noticed this habitual patterning of mind and chose a new way of being. I had more phone calls with my best friends on both sides of the Atlantic than I have had in a long time.

Then, there comes a time for surrender. Watching a wildfire threaten your home from afar can generate huge feelings of helplessness. However, having the capacity to surrender invokes trust and facilitates a letting go that can bring immediate relief to the energy needed for the stress and strain of holding any one thing tightly. In short, surrender brings peace.

Those who belong to a religious practice will be familiar with the practice of surrender; however, there are many ways to let go without religion. This might be surrendering to the natural flow of life, or letting go of the judgments that we inflict on ourselves and others, having patience, or finding ways to practice gratefulness. Notably, in some recovery programs, individuals are encouraged to find a balance between taking responsibility for their lives and surrendering aspects of their lives to a higher power. This can be applied to any time of difficulty, and this weekend, it has certainly helped me.

This week at the Sanctuary’s online Tuesday morning meditation, I will be delivering a compassionate imagery practice in which we might see what it is like to invoke a compassionate ‘other’ to surrender our pain and anxieties to. If this speaks to you, why not join us?

-Jane

Click here to join me at the Sanctuary’s online meditation session on Tuesday morning at 10am

Click below to listen to and download a meditation that calls on our imagination and helps us to invoke a sense of ‘surrender’ to a compassionate other.