Celebrating lost days

A few days ago, I was taking a break amidst a busy ten day stretch of teaching and I had met a friend for a quick coffee catch up. As we shared the highlights of our schedules, I admitted sheepishly that right before things got busy for me, I had spent a couple of days feeling bored. I can not tell you when the last time it was that I felt bored but here it was: boredom. What’s more is that I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that my very busy friend has these days, too. He called them the lost days. Only they are not entirely lost, they are days for confronting those parts of us that we are trying to escape through making ourselves busy or searching out entertainment. They are also the days that we have the opportunity to meet those parts of ourselves with kindness and compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist master, wrote a beautiful practice book titled “Happiness”. In this book, you will find many wonderful ways in which one might bring mindfulness into daily life. One of the practices that he outlines is the ‘lazy day’. He explains that the ‘lazy day’ is a day without schedule- we just let the day unfold naturally and without time limitations. It creates the space to bring balance into our lives but also to glean insight. However for many of us, myself included, finding ourselves with nothing to do can be quite scary. We have been conditioned to see productivity as currency. The question becomes: if we find ourselves with nothing to do, what worth do we hold?

According to Judy Ho Ph.D., ABPP, ABPdN, the connection between self-worth and productivity has a term: toxic productivity. Moreover, it can lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion and burn-out. As well, it disconnects us from dealing with uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, which over time has implications for both our physical and mental wellbeing. Therefore, when in balance, the ability to be bored or the ability to have a lazy day is actually a skill to be cherished.

We need to be able to stop long enough to notice the parts of us that need tending to. On those days that I was bored, I could feel the ragged edges of insecurity, needs not met and an internal disharmony with how things are and how I would like things to be. Thankfully, I was able to notice all the details of how I was experiencing these ragged edges and I had some tools in my tool box to help soften those edges so that I could hold myself gently. These tools being mindfulness and self-compassion.

Each time that we enlist our practice as a means of meeting what Jon Kabat Zinn calls the full catastrophe of living, (a term taken from Zorba the Greek), we have an opportunity to learn how to be peace, be compassionate, be loving. Without practice, these states have the potential to slip through our fingers. The more we engage with these states, the stronger and more habitual they become. So bring on the boredom! Bring on the lost days! Without them, we would not have the chance to embrace the fullness of what life has to offer.

This week at the Sanctuary’s Tuesday morning online community meditation, I will be delivering a Thich Nhat Hanh meditation called the ‘Island of the Self’. If you would like a bit of rest within yourself, why not join us? We would love to see you there.

-Jane

Click here to join me at the Sanctuary’s online meditation session on Tuesday

To listen to and download the meditation ‘Island of the Self’ click below: