Hold your seat

There’s a phrase that we use when teaching mindfulness for times when we feel challenged during a teaching session  or unsure of how a situation will unfold: hold your seat. For the most part it simply means just that. Stay put. When the going gets tough, don’t run away. Instead, stay embodied, present, compassionate and connected… hold your seat.

This phrase has often been attributed to the practice of meditation. Chogyam Trungpa, one of the first Tibetan Buddhist teachers in the West, and one of the founders of both Samye Ling in Scotland and Shambhala in the USA, instructed learners when he stated, “when you are meditating, whether you are alone or sharing the space with others, you always hold your seat properly”. To hold your seat in meditation means to hold your posture while remaining present with whatever thoughts and agitations might be arising while sitting. More broadly, it relates to being grounded and showing up for all of our joys and worries as they happen on a moment to moment basis.

I find the phrase to be a powerful statement that helps slow things down and bring me into my body, whenever my mind starts to speed up. Therefore, it’s no surprise that I use this phrase in many other areas of my life that feel challenging (not just teaching!). And I am happy to say that, most recently, this phrase has been handed down to my kids.

A few months ago, my eldest son rang me from Australia in a panic. His accommodation had fallen through and he wasn’t quite sure where he was going to live. I could hear the stress in his voice as he described to me a few knee jerk reactions that he was about to make. My response was to, ‘hold your seat’, with an invitation to give it some time to see how things unfold. I could hear him take a deep breath over the line, almost with a sense of relief with the fact that, that too, was an option. I then asked him what was the one kind thing he could do for himself that day as he held his seat and waited in discomfort. A few days later, the situation had resolved itself.

Then last night as I slept soundly, my phone rang. It was my youngest. His plane had been diverted and he was going to miss his connection home. I could hear the ‘what ifs’ and the rattle in his voice. All the possible outcomes in his mind were a swirling mess. Again, my response was to ‘hold your seat’. And again, I could hear the relief and an almost recalibration of my son coming home to himself. It meant taking a pause, and seeing if we can be with whatever unfolds without the chaos of a catastrophising mind. He rang me back, sounding settled. He was in for a long wait but happy to know that he would be on a flight home, albeit a few hours later than expected.

To ‘hold your’ seat is a reminder that the situation is not over yet. If we can manage to stay present and in our body, meeting ourself with patience and compassion, we can make our way through stressful situations more skilfully. We just have to remember that holding our seat is an option. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the maelstrom of an uncertain mind when things don’t go our way. Slowing things down and simply being present to what is happening may seem like doing nothing, however, it is an intervention in its own right.

This week, I thought it might be good for us to all practice and work with the phrase hold your seat at the Sanctuary’s Tuesday morning online meditation session. It takes little to no effort to get caught up in the scramble of our mind, however, we do have to work a bit harder at coming home to ourselves. If this speaks to you, I would love to see you there.

-Jane

Click here to join me at the Sanctuary’s online community meditation this Tuesday at 10am.

Click below to do a meditation that focuses on holding our seat: