Quiet moments of presence

Last night, my son surprised me with coming home for Christmas. He has been living in Australia for the past year, and despite my many ‘are you sure you’re not going to come home?’ queries, he managed to truly catch me off guard! There were many tears and lots of hugs and plenty of ‘this can’t be reals’, as you can imagine. There is also a need for recalibration as I have sent all of his Christmas treats in a parcel marked for Sydney.

This got me thinking of all the ways that we can be derailed during the holidays. Yes, my derailing is a happy one but there are times that surprises or things not going as planned can be discombobulating.  So how do we learn to roll with the punches?

Mindfulness teaches us to cultivate a beginner’s mind, or a mind that isn’t governed by expectation or assumption of how things should be. Instead, mindfulness helps us embrace surprise rather than being carried away by shock or disappointment. This allows us to turn the unexpected from a threat into an opportunity for learning, adaptability, and deeper presence.

Again, how do we do this? Well, by deliberately paying attention to our sensations, emotions and thoughts, we create a space of observation. It’s in this space of observing where we have the opportunity to choose to remain present, and rather than react impulsively, we can choose a skilful and healthy response. For instance, instead of the question “Why me?”,  we might ask “What is this feeling?”, “What’s happening now?”, or “What’s the next small step?” to re-engage our mindful awareness.

In terms of my son’s arrival, I joyfully chose to allow the emotion to carry us both away. This happens… this is what makes us human. This is also where our compassion practice comes in. Our reaction was delightful. However, other times it might be different. In which case, can we meet ourselves and others with kindness rather than blame?

For the coming days, my wish for you is to be open to surprise and the wonder of no expectation.

The Sanctuary’s community meditation sessions are stopped for two weeks around Christmas and New Year. And in light of my son’s return, I will be taking a two week break, as well. For those of you who celebrate it, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year. May it be filled with quiet moments of presence.

-Jane