It’s Easter Monday, as I write this, and I am just home from a wedding in the gorgeous countryside of Devon, England. This was the first time that I have been away from home at Easter time and I was curious as to how this would be. Easter is one of my favourite celebrations. My brother would smirk at this… he’d probably make some droll comment about it’s down to the fact that I love the suffering (picture my brothers and I being marched down to church to observe the Easter Tridium or the three days in which we move through the Passion, Crucifixion, Death, burial, and Resurrection of Jesus). However, for me, it wasn’t about the suffering per se, rather it’s always been about the resurrection, the rebirth, the renewal and hope that Easter brings. And if I am honest, it is also about the tradition and ritual that took seed in my heart. It’s a ritual that I water and tend to each year. Only this year was different.
This year, I found myself on the coast of Devon, amongst rolling hills and the most eclectic mix of people. It was a happy reunion for me as I met my Canadian ‘cabin’ neighbours for their daughter’s wedding. It was also the most wonderful coming together of both Yorkshire and Canadian farmers, a South African teacher, cyber technicians, German cyclists, grocery and food traders, artists and the odd underground miner or two. The celebration and witnessing of the newly wedded couple’s love and commitment unified all who were there and bridged the divide of geographical, social, economical and religious positions.
People were kind, interested and fully present for one another, asking questions and giving people space to tell their story of who they are and where they come from. In the same way that my family comes together for the ritual of Easter, these families were coming together for the ritual of a wedding. And for someone whose children and family are living abroad, separated by oceans, maybe this was an Easter blessing to be amongst such a welcoming crowd, instead of home alone.
Ritual plays an important and supporting role in terms of social connection and mental well-being. The may look common and simple on the surface but they meet fundamental social and psychological needs. They join people together in the present, but they also reach back into the past and feed the future through the repetition of custom and culture through activities such as shared meals, practices and passed on traditions.
Through mutual experience, bonds are created and strengthened creating a sense of belonging and togetherness. This goes a long way for those living alone, like myself. However, there are studies that show that participating in rituals can help reduce anxiety and lower physiological signs of arousal for those in war torn countries and/or in conflict. As well, those who create rituals while living through grief felt less sad and more in control. With wars and conflict being broadcast to us daily, not only is this a significant finding, but it provides a map for how we might manage our reactions. Rituals help us to express emotions, while providing us with structure and predictability. They link us to a larger narrative that is imbued with meaning and the common human experience.
I may have missed the Tridium, but I certainly felt that I belonged to a community of love and hope which is all part of the of the Easter season. The day after the wedding, I stumbled upon the most gorgeous chapel at the Dartmouth castle. It was filled with spring flowers, taken from the fields that surround it. I sat down and took a moment to remember my family who are miles away. And today, as I have settled back into my home, I can smell my Easter meal cooking in the kitchen. It’s made up of all of the recipes of my mother and grandmothers before me. Hopefully, this meal will continue for generations to come.
If you would like to join me and the Sanctuary for our Tuesday ritual of coming together in community for meditation practice, we would love to see you there. Some rituals are old but some rituals are brand new, too.
-Jane
My Silent Place 
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