I am just back from the Festival of Writing and Ideas, which is a festival that brings together some of the leading minds, authors and artists of our time. Over three days, I soaked up conversations and inspiration, as well as the very wet landscape of Borris, County Carlow. My mind and my heart feel full. My body feels something different: tired. 😉
One of the talks that I attended was a discussion between Stephen Greenblatt and the psychoanalyst Adam Phillips, who spoke about second chances through the lens of Shakespeare’s plays and psychoanalysis. It was fascinating, and as someone who majored in English, I was very relieved to be able to remember all of the plays that were discussed.
I am reluctant to give a crude and simplistic account of the discussion. However, I can tell you two things that stood out for me. The first being that Shakespeare’s comedies all include second chances, whereas, his tragedies do not. The second argument was that in order to have a second chance, a choice needs to be made. And with every choice, a degree of mourning for what is lost needs to take place.
Why were these my take-aways?
Well, on one hand, it could be tragic not to take second chances when they come along; however, in doing so, we need to be prepared to attend to the grief that accompanies choice.
On the other hand, this speaks to me of what the Buddhist’s call the wanting mind. This is the restless (and sometimes relentless!) longing to acquire more, achieve more or experience more.
Believe me, with 60 incredible minds speaking at the festival, my wanting mind was in overdrive. There was plenty of mourning over the talks that I had to forgo in order to narrow my choice down to ‘just one’ per timeslot. There was also plenty of desire to take more and more in without any space to fully integrate everything that I had just heard. I felt pulled and driven at the same time. With a swirling head and a grasping heart, I was being battered by desire.
It wasn’t until the last time slot, when I decided to make a choice based on what I felt was more than just me, myself and I, that I experienced a tempering of any sense of regret or craving. I decided to accompany my friend to the talk that they wanted to go to so that we could spend time together. By linking my choice to a motivation based in connection and kindness, I found myself more at ease and able to be fully present for what it was I was taking in. This second, third, fourth chance at choosing the ‘right’ talk felt coupled with meaning and free of the wanting mind.
I know that choosing which speaker to hear is different to choosing whether one should change their job or house or partner. However, if we can be motivated by connection, whether that be to ourselves or others, the choice just might be a bit easier and lighter. Regret and desire may still show their faces but the value behind a strong purpose will shoulder the weight. By making a choice that kept me connected, I was able to get out of my own way and feel joy through a shared experience with someone I care about. What a great way to end the festival.
If you would like to explore motivation and second chances through the practice of mindfulness, why not join me at the Sanctuary’s online community meditation on Tuesday at 10am. It would be great to see you there.
-Jane
My Silent Place 
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