As part of my working day, I have been taking my coffee breaks outside. And while I am currently at my cabin in Canada, this means that I have been sitting and watching the forest. Only, I am not the only one doing the watching. There is a wee squirrel who has been slowly moving from anger, to irritation, to curiosity, to tolerating and maybe even not minding my presence in his/her favourite lunchtime spot. What started with regular scoldings from the squirrel has turned into mutual interest.
It’s been fun to watch this squirrel’s process and it has also reminded me of Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings on anger. Thich Nhat Hanh once said that anger is peace work and this little squirrel and I are definitely moving towards peace. Now I am not going to pretend that I know what is happening for the squirrel psychologically. Whether or not that’s what the squirrel was experiencing, watching the sequence has me smiling at this mindful lesson.
The first step in the lesson is allowing the emotion to be here, now, just as it is. The squirrel’s ‘shouts’ told me that there was much allowing and little suppression. Thich Nhat Hanh explains that we need to avoid suppressing anger with the belief that we shouldn’t feel this way. Instead, we can acknowledge it with, ‘hello anger, I know that you are here’. We can then move forward rather than be governed by it. After the initial expression, the squirrel gradually settled, paused to groom itself and resumed eating their pinecone.
The second step is attending to the emotion. Thich Nhat Hanh uses the analogy of our anger being like a crying baby. We move inward and tend to it. The squirrel focused on itself, soothed all of the rough edges with care and carried on. If only it were this easy for myself when anger is present!
Moving away from the squirrel and applying this lesson to how we relate to our own emotions can be profound. What’s interesting is that Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that inner violence tends to spill out, but inner understanding tends to turn into outward compassion. If we reject or suppress our emotions, they will show up in some form of destructive behaviour and use up a lot of energy. However, if we shift to curiosity with an intention to understand, something else happens. A softening occurs. As understanding grows, defensiveness begins to loosen, making space for compassion. In the case of my squirrel, connection quickly followed. Now, the squirrel often appears when I sit outside and we seem able to share the space peacefully.
This has me reinvested in regards to tending to all of my emotions in this way. It’s not that I had forgotten these teachings, but our habit patterns are strong and it’s much easier to project onto others, rather than be with what’s alive within. It’s hard work, actually. However, these lessons from the forest are inspiring. Peace didn’t arrive because the squirrel simply stopped being angry. Rather peace emerged because conditions changed and fear gradually dissolved. With mindfulness, we all have the power to change conditions. To me, this is inspiring.
If you would like to explore what it might be like to tend to our emotions with mindfulness, why not join us at the sanctuary’s online community meditation sit on Tuesday at 10am Irish time. I would love to see you there.
-Jane
My Silent Place 
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